Happy Thanksgaying

As a lifelong vegetarian, Thanksgiving has never meant much to me. While many sit down to a robust turkey dinner with all the trimmings, I've traditionally spent the afternoon preparing a large plate of nachos with all the necessary dips and toppings. Aside from sophomore year, I haven't gone home for the holiday either, instead choosing to stay on our warm, ghost-town campus for a four-day break.

This year I'm staying put once again. But not until today did I realize that, while I won't be at home with my family for Thanksgiving, something else will be: The Current, and therefore, this column. And, without fail, I guarantee this column will be passed around the dinner table for the entire Martinez/D'Onofrio family to read.

Interestingly enough, I have no idea to what extent my family knows I'm gay, so…hey, guys, hope dinner is going well.

In keeping with the holiday spirit, I've taken stock of a few of the things, big, fat, gay, or none of the above, that I'm thankful for. Happy Thanksgayving!

Poppy

At the risk of sounding cliché (and pissing off the rest of my family for not including them), my grandfather, who I have called poppy for as long as I can remember, has been one of the most influential men in my life. He had me playing poker by age three, pool by four and rummy by five. His undying love for the Phillies fueled my interest in baseball. He's also a devout catholic, but hey, nobody is perfect. Still, he is without a doubt the biggest embodiment of masculinity I had the pleasure of growing up with (sorry, Dad, I love you, but listening to Bjork is in no way masculine).

Leonardo DiCaprio

I didn't realize it then, but I spent way too much time staring at Leo when my dad took me to see "Titanic" at age nine. After that, Leo developed into one of the biggest names in Hollywood, and I continued spending way too much time staring at him ("Inception" was on near-constant repeat on HBO this summer, much to my delight).

I'm especially thankful for Leo's remarkable performance in the new film "J. Edgar." In terms of acting, it's not Leo's best. But the way he and co-star Armie Hammer portrayed the romance between J. Edgar Hoover and his FBI partner Clyde Tolson was quite memorable. The subtle, unspoken nature of their attraction is far more realistic than most films involving gay couples. Oh, and seeing Leo in a man-on-man kiss is always worth the price of admission.

December Diamonds Christmas Ornaments

I first came across this collection of glittery merman ornaments five years ago when "Blaze," a shirtless firefighter merman, won our family's "gag gift" competition, where we trade intentionally bad presents. Last month I found the entire December Diamonds collection in a gift shop in New Orleans.

For fifteen minutes I stood in awe in front of a wall of topless, glitter-tailed mermen, each portraying a different profession. Theres Officer Ripped, a torn-shirt police officer; Candy Cane, a seductive Christmas-themed one; and Doctor Turnencoff. I bought Johnson, the cute blond with an "I just got lucky" face. He now hangs above my bed, warding off bad juju and the like. I have a feeling my Christmas list will contain a different one of these ornaments for many years to come.

Astroglide

Appropriate subject for an article destined to be passed around the dinner table? No. Useful? Yes. Enough said.

Straight Men

My knack for being primarily attracted to straight guys has been frustrating at times. But my heterosexual male friends have shown me on countless occasions what I like in a guy, and for that, I am thankful. Above all else, I am blessed to have a particular few of these friends that continue to stand by my side despite my obvious feelings for them. If you can't beat ‘em, join em, and if you can't date em, stay close. Thanks, guys, enjoy your holidays.