April is National Second Chance Month, which means you should definitely text him right now. 

No, seriously, fire one off. Shoot him a “hey,” maybe hit him with a “u were in my dream last night.” Don’t specify that it was the space war dream, where you fight intergalactic evil on the mean streets of Venus. Let his imagination do the work.

Wait for a response, eagerly. After the first hour, admit to yourself that he’s not texting back because he’s too obsessed with you, so he can’t respond, or he’ll fall in love. After the seventh, understand that he’s simply been in a horrible car crash, or maybe arrested, or maybe kidnapped, or worse.

Look at it this way: 6% of divorced couples end up remarrying. Sure, that means 94% don’t, but what are you as an Eckerd student if not exceptional? And he is marriage material. He only blew you off to go “fishing with the boys,” like three times.

Worst-case scenario: he doesn’t respond, which could be considered a blessing in disguise, as it creates a good enough reason to get super drunk and tell all your friends his most heinous qualities (like using the word hump, being on the Discord app, saying “females”). 

Making the best of the worst-case scenario: he doesn’t respond, you wake up hungover and you’re still alive. And you’re alive at Eckerd College, one of the top 15 sexiest colleges on the East Coast, and you’ve got one month left to party with the hotties of St. Pete. So text him, let his absence answer, and enjoy what remains of the spring semester.

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