By Roxanne Vooderschmittan

It’s true when it comes to sex, the perfect balance of raw attraction and significant caring is key. There must, however, be a balance. Exploring too far into the realm of sexual fetishes may be fun for some people, but to maintain that sexy allure there is a limit of how far one can push things.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about the art of “dirty talking.” Sure, spontaneous comments about how good the sex is and how sexy you are is possibly the best thing one can ever hear, but when the line crosses over to some phrases that can be taken as demeaning and even downright disrespectful, the mood can turn for the worse. Guys (and these are just my thoughts) do not call a girl a disrespectful name in bed and girls do not emasculate your man by saying something too aggressive that can possibly scare him or even cause him to feel less than adequate.

Don’t get me wrong, sex is all about what your significant other finds sexy and attractive. If they want to try something new, search deep down into your own sex vault and figure out what gets your motor running. Communication and conversation will always open doors to a happy love life. However, sex should not make either one of you feel as though you are being used or abused.

Talk to your partner if something they do is making you feel uncomfortable. Things like that should not be kept under wraps.

Now you’re probably wondering well what is the right way to dirty talk? And it’s really all about making you and your partner feel comfortable with each other. Express yourself. Just as sex is an expression of attraction so is talking about it, and yes, during sex.

It shouldn’t be any old conversation though bring up how sexy and beautiful your girl is, and for girls, talk about how great he’s making you feel. Nothing is sexier than expressing how great this spectacular event is. Another frequent question about dirty talking is how awkward it is. Don’t let it be awkward, get that idea out of your mind. Like I said before, the more comfortable you feel with your partner the better and more enjoyable it will be. Start talking to each other in a loving way everyday (I know, I know, kind of cheesy but it does work) and the dirty stuff will come later.

Begin with a simple compliment “your legs look amazing in that dress,” “your arms look great in that shirt.” Things like that should start getting you to feel more comfortable, saying things that will make your significant other feel sexy and desirable. That’s what dirty talking is all about. Making it so both you and your partner feel amazing and comfortable with each other.

Remember that love and respect should always be a part of the show. Anybody who can’t draw the line between being seduced and straight up disrespect should probably be open with their partner (and/or friends) and find out what’s really going on. Regardless, the “art of dirty talking” should always be about what makes you or your partner feel good. The body always responds to good, healthy, sexy energy.

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