Do you remember your first time?

Whether you got it out of the way during ninth grade like the slutty girls, or waited until sophomore year of college for "Mr. Right," you no doubt remember your first time. Maybe you don't remember every pain-staking minute, or second, of the encounter that launched your sexual career, but there are undoubtedly some features of the incident that will stay with you for better or for worse.

It's 4 a.m., I'm staring up at the ceiling thinking, "wow, this is what sex feels like." I can't recall whether that was posed as a question or a statement, but years later I know that's what was running through my mind. About 8 minutes after it started, the big moment was all over. My life forever changed, I could never again play the virgin card without having to lie my face off.

There I lay, at the tender age of 14, devirginized and prouder than ever. I set my mind to losing my virginity that summer and that is exactly what happened. It wasn't some big grand gesture of love and romance with the man I thought I would one day marry. For Christ's sake, he didn't even know I was a virgin, (yes, a shameless tactic I used on my mission to be deflowered). To me being a virgin was something I needed to get off my resume. I was eager to put that word in the past alongside memories of playground recess and fads like crazy-bones and pogs. Getting my cherry popped by summer's end was just the start of a long list of sexual goals I would have.

I wasn't particularly picky about who my first would be, but I did know what I wanted and that's what mattered. Obviously I wanted someone attractive, so when I looked back it wouldn't be a total loss. I didn't really care about his family, even though I had dinner with them several times a week, mostly by accident. The only thing that mattered aside from looks, was that he wasn't a virgin, because I was. And no amount of porn could teach me the skills I needed to fool him. So after what seemed like an eternity, I was finally devirginized by someone almost 5 years my senior at the ass-crack of dawn and he had no idea that he was the man that started it all.

Obviously the sex was let's say, less than spectacular, but it was a coming of age – the beginning of my sexual exploration. The moment itself, when my wish had been fulfilled was anti-climactic and nothing to write home about. It didn't last as long as I thought it would and having an orgasm didn't even cross my mind; like most sexual encounters I would find myself in years later. I thought he might have noticed I was a virgin somehow, but for the same reason a senior bangs a freshman, this obviously wasn't a problem.

Thinking back to how I tactfully escaped my high school years as a virgin is clearly not normal, but was superbly strategic and for that reason I pat myself on the back. As for others, I would imagine most girls didn't take the approach of pawning off their virginity to the first stud that crossed her path. However, I doubt most girls are disillusioned into thinking that her first lay will be the person she will marry. In my case, I didn't even think I would be speaking to him within the following 6 months, and surprisingly it didn't even take that long.

What I'm trying to say is, figure out what you want and go for it. Whether you want to try everything in the book (and then some) start off slow or even save it for later. Be true to yourself and know what you want. Sexual exploration can lead to self exploration and you never know what you'll learn till you take the plunge.